Thoughts

Stay out of our uterus, let us decide

This morning, my friend called me. He told me about a 14 years old boy who got a girl pregnant. The boy is living on the streets, and up until I published this post, my friend still doesn’t know the pregnant’s girl identity. We talked about what that boy should do, the possibility of abortion, and where they should go if they decide to terminate the pregnancy (which will be a problem in my country). In Indonesia’s Health Law and the Ethic code of Indonesian’s Physician, abortion act is illegal except in an emergency condition where the mother’s or the fetus’s life is in danger. Like I said, it would be a problem for them if they decide to terminate the pregnancy since it might be difficult to find an ob/gyn who would agree to perform the termination. 

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In some countries, even developed liberal countries such as USA, abortion is still considered as an illegal act (and we already know how the religion-based countries view on abortion act). The policy makers are so pro-life they take away a women’s right in making decision of their own body and life. They tell what the woman should do or should not do when it comes to condition such as unwanted pregnancy. In my opinion, it is the woman herself who should decide whether she wants to keep the pregnancy or not; not the government. In the end, it’s her (and perhaps her spouse, or the biological father) who would continue her life, giving birth, raising the child, feed him, and trying to educate him.

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What is weird in the unwanted pregnancy case is that the so-called “pro-life” group would condemn the abortion act simply because when God has given the life, we should preserve it, keep it. Hence, abortion is a bad deed. But do these people think about the woman who would go through the pregnancy and what comes after the child is born? Do they consider whether the woman (or the parents) is ready to have child, to raise a family? You might hear answer such as, “If they are not ready, then they should not have sex in the first place,” (like that’s going to solve the problem). They condemn the abortion act; they condemn the woman who chooses to terminate the pregnancy, as if they would help the woman raise the kid. They do not even think whether the woman has a permanent job, medical care insurance that will cover her and her baby’s needs, or person who will take care of the baby when she has to go to work.

It is even worse if the woman is living in countries such as mine (Indonesia). If she decides to keep her pregnancy, will her family support her decision? Or will they allow her to keep the baby but without judging her ‘bad deed’? Will she be forced to live in condition where her family keep pointing out the shame she brought to her family? Will her baby be called as a “bastard” in front of her (or later in front of the child him/herself)? Or will the parents make her give the baby to orphanage out of shame?

We should really start putting the mother (or the biological parents) inside our thinking frame before we rush into making a decision that will affect us all. Instead of telling the women on what they should or should not do, why don’t we leave them to decide what is best for them. Some might think those who terminate their babies are so mean, that they do not have consciences. You are wrong. It kills those women, too. It is not an easy decision to be made. I have heard that women who decided to do an abortion said that they lost something afterwards. So, it’s tough decision, alright. You don’t get to judge what they feel or not feel. What you need to do is to support and accompany them in the decision-making process. You should also do that after they had made their final decision. 

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We should start seeing world holistic as one. We should not focus on just preserving the life, but the continuing of that life we’re preserving. We should see how something will affect the person, and the surrounding environment. We should think about the causality before we take decision or rush someone to make a decision because that is something that should be done according to a law or a religion or what people think should do.

Last but not least, please, stay out of our vagina. It’s our body; we decide what we want to do with it. Please, stay out of our uterus. We are not that dumb that we don’t even think of consequences we have to face when we decided something.


photo credit : Women’s Right News Facebook Page

This article is edited by Danilah Nur. You can visit her personal blog and her Resonansi Otak blog

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