Life

There something about marriage…

… that makes me want to commit suicide immediately!! Ok, that is over reaction, insane, and I don’t want to suicide just because that silly thing.

Every time I talk about marriage especially to some people, I always become angry. Maybe because I hate this culture or public opinion that when someone doesn’t get married, especially woman, she’ll be miserable and lonely. Or another opinion that woman must *or as Howard Wolowitx of TBBT said, it’s highly recommended* get married before her age reaches 25 years old, otherwise very few man will like her.

Those are garbage! Not getting married doesn’t mean miserable. There are a lot of women who don’t get married until the day they die, and they’re still happy. Yes, of course they would always dream about having a husband, someone to share their live with, someone whom they spend the night with. Yes, there’s hope that Mr. Right finally come to their lives. I don’t refuse that fact. What I really really hate is when everybody thinks that is miserable life. Hell to the no! Your life won’t be miserable if you can enjoy it, if you love yourself first, if you can find happiness in everything you do, in everything that surrounds you. You won’t be lonely unless you let yourself so.

And what is that crap thing about getting married before 25? Yeah yeah I know woman has her biological time which clicking louder and louder after her age reaches 25. Yes I know, the risk of giving birth after 30 is getting higher and higher, and woman can develop more serious illness by doing so. But that doesn’t make you a husband hunter in your early twenties. That absolutely doesn’t allow anyone to push you to get married. So what if man doesn’t like woman whose age is 27? So what if you’re still single in 28?

Marriage is NOT just about sex and children. Marriage is NOT just about having fun and then being happy, guys! You have to work it out. You have to work your ass out to have a happy and successful marriage. You can not think that everything will be okay, that you should just do it and see what’s gonna happen.

So if you don’t want to get married before 30 *assuming that you have your own plan to get married at specific age*, or you want to get married with some specific man *by specific I mean his personality* and you still haven’t found that kind of guy yet, don’t be rushed!

And people, please it’s 21st century now. It’s 3rd millenium, where the Eastern and Western culture have assimilated into each other. Yes, marriage is important, yes it’s nice to share our life with someone who’s worth it, but don’t push it too hard. It sucks, you know that?!

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10 thoughts on “There something about marriage…

  1. I didn’t get married until I was 32 after 7 years of dating the same man. I never wanted children and always got flack about that. Marriage is good if it’s right for you. No one should have to get married. I don’t think anyone should get married before 30. It’s hard work and not always pleasant – but you work through things…. I hate the old school opinion of marriage and procreation – thank God my parents we on my side. : )

    1. Well, I am sure we have different culture. In my country, my culture, getting married before 30 it’s like a consensus amongst people. Like I said in my post. There are only few people who really think like you and my friend who commented below *God Bless them*.

      I agree with you, that marriage is good of it’s right for one. Some people think that marriage is only about happiness but the fact that it needs more hardwork to work it out.

  2. indeed…
    marriage is an option, not a must…
    there’s a more miserable life than not getting married, that is to marry the wrong guy…
    so, waiting is the right option…
    if you rush to get married just because you can’t stand what others think about you, and end up with just anyone, you’ll have to endure the pain for the rest of your life…
    of course, there’s always divorce, but the hell with that… 😛

    1. I absolutely agree with you, hun! the worst thing in relationship is being with wrong person for the rest of your life. It won’t only make your life miserable, it will affect your kids too.

  3. Hoho what a topic in this age 😀
    i see my sisters and brother who already married, well marriage isn’t easy as it seems but we shouldn’t make it hard 😀
    I agree not to make it in a rush, but whatever it is i still believe marriage is about worship to God, so we don’t need to worry what peoples said as long as we keep it in a heart that we’ll do it in the name of God
    Only Him leading us to The Right 😀

    1. That I also agree. Maybe the harsh way to say it is : mind your own business 😛 Because it’s a personal thing. Maybe what’s really bugging my mind is the action of trying to involved in someone’s personal life. Even parents shouldn’t do that, in my opinion. Yes I know that they want grandchildren, they want their daughter/son to be happy with someone who loves them or whatever, but make something optional into a duty?

      wew…

  4. hell yeah..why have to rush to married…
    few of friend who just get a proper job, get married in a few month after.. i think… “dude are you out of your mind?? why so in a rush???” c’mon i think for guys is better to concern for his career first and then they can think abut marriage, lot of my friend always ask to me when do you wanna get married? or why you dont get a job that can make your live more settled, and than you can get married??? I SAID HELL NO DUDE!!!! why do i have to think about married, while living by myself is quite fun, and i think married is just a burden, you know.. a man have to find a good job etc, so their family can live well, DAMN i had enough with that s**t!!!, sorry muthe , same thing with you i just feel annoyed when other people act that im not matured enough b’cause, i dont think about marriage.. WELL I SAY MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! , so good for you mut , you doesnt trap in an old way of thinking of our society…

    1. Thanks God you’re one of the rational guy. Actually, my family also has a rule for my brother, that he shouldn’t get married before he’s settled *and that will take years after he graduates from college of course*. What I don’t like is the rule for me to get married before 25 *of course if there’s a man who really interested in me*. Eventhough there’s no one right now, the idea of getting married before 25, scares the hell out of me. I want to be settle first. Meh, there’s some reasons that I won’t explain here why I don’t really like the idea of getting married before 25, even the idea of getting married itself.

  5. Thank God people around never seriously push me to get married soon (yet!).

    Btw, some years ago, a friend of mine was about to get married. She was in her early twenties. Believe it or not, she was also afraid to be judged. She was concern about what other people judgement about her getting married too soon.
    I have to admit that back then, I made a little judgement about her too. I mean, I asked “why r u getting married so soon?” and said (silently, by heart) “oh, come on. married? now? u r so not cool!”.

    As I think about it again now, I can’t help to curse myself for being so judgemental. I mean, I didn’t live her life, I didn’t know what she had been through in her life, I didn’t know the value in her family, and I didn’t date her boyfriend, then I shouldn’t have judged her anything.

    The same goes for people who choose to get married after certain age or condition, or even to those who choose to not get married at all. I really don’t have any right to judge any of them (it’s a very difficult thing though, smtms my brain automatically makes judgement even before I realize about it. hahaha).

    1. your comment made me thinking for a week! I did make a judgement when I heard someone whose under 28 will get married. Like they’re wasting their life, their career, und so weiter und so weiter ( i just like the sound of deutsch when i have to say etc :P). I’m just afraid they decide getting married because of delusional reason, I’m afraid they think married is just about sex, or just about happiness where the actual condition is, like I said in the post, it really needs lot of work and compromise.

      I do have friend whom married at age of 22, and he is very wise man. And i was like happy that he’s married.

      well, i can’t help to judge too, but that’s just spontanity reaction right? as long as i don’t say it outloud and make people hurt of my judgement, i guess it’s safe for me 😛

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